


Five Types Of Love Sirius Black Had For Remus Lupin

by FanficIsLove



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Confession, F/M, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Implied Lily Evans/James Potter - Freeform, Love, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Friendship, Marauders' Era, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 12:52:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8014717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanficIsLove/pseuds/FanficIsLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius Black was a lot of things: confident, cocky, rebellious, a devil's advocate and generally a complete and utter pest that no one could actually hate (apart from Snivellous, but he didn't count). But the one thing he was the most was dishonest, and that included to his friends, his enemies, his family, his teachers and himself. And the one thing he lied to himself most about was his undeniable crush on Remus Lupin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Types Of Love Sirius Black Had For Remus Lupin

Sirius Black was a lot of things: confident, cocky, rebellious, a devil's advocate and generally a complete and utter pest that no one could actually hate (apart from Snivellous, but he didn't count). But the one thing he was the most was dishonest, and that included to his friends, his enemies, his family, his teachers and himself. And the one thing he lied to himself most about was his undeniable crush on Remus Lupin.

**Philia**

As per usual, Remus sat in the Gryffindor common room with his nose in a book, ignoring any and all conversation going on around him. The three other Marauders had tried to get his attention, but all he responded with was a hum of acknowledgement and sometimes, if they were lucky, no more than three words that ended the discussion before it had started.

Rather than being upset, Sirius was actually glad he wasn’t involved. Not because he had something against the werewolf, but because it meant that he didn’t have to sneak peeks at his tawny haired friend – he could just stare at him openly. He thought about how the single lick of hair fell onto Remus’ forehead as he bowed down, too engrossed in his book to brush it back; he thought about how his mouth would fall open just a little bit, lost in the world of the book to really care about his rather gormless appearance. It reminded Sirius of how they had met: on the crowded Hogwarts train of 71 with himself and James getting kicked out of every carriage they tried to take a seat in due to their lack of manners and general rowdiness, they had come across the outmost compartment that had only three people in it. One, a boy with slicked-back, affixed black hair and a rather protruding hook for a nose, wearing an expression that you could only describe as a stupor; two, a pale, slender girl whose most noticeable feature was her striking, almost inexplicably red hair who was leaning with her elbows on the table, deeply involved in the plot of her book; and three, a slender, rather handsome boy whose good-natured expression drew Sirius in immediately. Of course, James had approached Lily with great confidence, only to be brutally denied after making a snide comment about Snape, who ‘happened to be her friend, thank you very much’. However, just across the carriage, a bond formed between Sirius and Remus that they knew would last for many, many years.

He fell out of his cloud-nine daydream when his eyes found themselves looking into the orbs of the one-and-only Remus Lupin, his eyebrow cocked.

“Sirius?” He quizzed, “You okay?”

Sirius smiled and nodded, suddenly feeling giddy and a little sick after being caught stalking his friend.

**Ludus**

A boiling hot summers day, and the Marauders were making the most of it. Sitting outside on the emerald blades, Sirius sat beside Remus and watched Peter and James do a bizarre dance, ending with James falling timely into the lake with a comedic ‘ _SPLASH!’_ , plundering Remus and Sirius into fits of laughter.

“You think this is funny?” James spat water out as he spoke; only prodding them further into the land of no return, “Bastards!”

On cue, Lily and her cute friend strolled past Remus and Sirius, the friend swaying her hips exaggeratedly when she noticed Padfoot. She giggled and tapped Lily on the arm on their way towards the lake, whispering something the wind and his dog-like senses fed back to Sirius as, ‘He’s so cute!’. He couldn’t have cared less, watching the look of total horror flash across James’ face upon seeing Lily. Taking a deep breath, he plunged his head underwater, out of sight from the flame-headed girl. Clearly noticing, she chuckled and stopped them to chat by the water, awaiting his declaration of defeat.

Remus shifted beside him to reposition himself into a more comfortable position, eventually settling with perching on his knees. On his face was the most sincere joy Sirius had ever witnessed cross his friend’s seemingly forever-stressed features. Even with being so very young, he always unnecessarily carried the weight of the world on his frail shoulders, blaming himself for anything and everything that went wrong. He really did worry Sirius sometimes.

“Moony?” Sirius whispered deftly, approaching the anticipated conversation with exaggerated trepidation.

“Yes, Sirius?” Remus hummed. The mellifluous tone changed his mind, and he decided that he really didn’t want to ruin his good mood with such a heavy conversation.

He couldn’t improvise words quick enough, instead opting for knocking Remus over with his shoulder and sending him flying on to his side. Contrary to what Sirius thought would happen, he didn’t get angry. No, he did quite the opposite; rolled onto his back and started laughing uncontrollably, allowing Sirius to breathe a sigh of relief and join in alongside him.

Finally, he stopped with a grin on his face and sat up to look at Sirius, “Is that what you wanted to talk about?”

“Of course.” Sirius beamed back at him ever-so-sarcastically.

In their platonic euphoria, he took just a moment to consider the serendipity of meeting Remus Lupin and held a much higher appreciation for the Hogwarts Express.

**Agape**

Where a werewolf had been stood just seconds prior was now occupied by a delicate, weeping Remus Lupin, cradling the shaggy dog animagus he knew was that of his close friend, Sirius Black. His tears and choking was muffled by the fur of the animal gamely pawing at him, attempting to cheer him up. Figuring that being a dog was no use, he switched back to his normal form and kneeled beside his friend, pulling him tightly into his arms and encouraging him to bury his face further into the long, feral locks to his shoulders. As Remus complied, he found his gruff voice.

“Shh… It’s okay.” He kept a firm grip on his shoulders, almost afraid he would run away if he loosened his hold, “You’re okay.”

Remus pulled back, “No, I’m not.” He sniffed and looked at his feet, “I’m a monster. Look at what I did.”

Sirius looked around the dreary, demolished, presumably once green grassland they sat in. He had followed Remus in his dog form earlier to make sure he was okay and that he wasn’t going to hurt himself. Having never seen the place before, Sirius couldn’t really respond to his statement in a way that was 100% true, but still he tried to reassure him.

“You’re not a monster. You’re my friend.” Sirius pretended not to hear the hitch in Remus’ breath or  to feel the way his shaking body stilled, “You are Remus Lupin. You are briliant, kind, intelligent and strong, not a monster. You will not give up. I won’t allow it.”

Sirius was serious, and not just for the sake of the pun. If there was any thought or doubt in Remus’ mind that told him the world or his friends would be better off without him, he would be damned if he didn’t try to rid him of the deceitful lies. They could lock him up in Azkaban and throw away the key if Remus thought he would leave him alone without at least _trying_ to help him. This idea made Sirius feel a burning sensation in the center of his chest that brought his cold-sweated hands to rest against Remus’ cheeks and forced him to look him in the eye.

“You will not leave me, and I will not leave you.” He stated firmly.

Remus nodded slowly, not breaking the eye-contact that had something moreish channelling through it, having them both privately wish for it to never end.

**Eros**

It was fifth year, and Sirius was getting impatient. Every time Remus bent over to pick up his dropped books or when he would sit so close him could _swear_ he knew what he was doing to the Black, Sirius wished he could have him; to claim him as his own. Though they had never been anything more than friends and Sirius _knew_ Remus was straight, something in him urged him to corner him and _at least_ lay a solid one on him (though, his body did tell him more explicit things that he tried to block out as their graphicness would end up with him flushing a lurid beet).

Sirius watched Remus’ fingers do an uncoordinated tap-dance on said young man’s plump lips as he pondered, torturing him until they had him squirming in his chair, trying and failing miserably to keep his eyes off of the god before him. When his tongue joined in with the bop, he knew he was gone. Unable to stop himself, he reached out and ran his fingers along the slim, poetically scarred arms and held the tenderly rough hand that belonged to his long-time best friend. Frantic eyes caught his in an understandable question of what the hell he was doing, but not a cry for him to stop. Even if he could speak, he had no idea what he would say. He didn’t know what he was doing himself; it didn’t even feel like him doing it. Just before Remus could ask any questions aloud, Sirius pounced on him and caught his words with his mouth, locking them inside.

As he feared, Remus pushed him away and said, “Sirius? Are you feeling quite alright?”

Sirius threw his head down into Remus’ chest on a sixpence, triggering an over-dramatic coughing fit and lying through his teeth about how ill he felt, when in reality he felt somehow both lecherous and crestfallen, and he wondered how that was possible.

**Pragma**

Marauders James, Peter, Remus and Sirius boarded the Hogwarts Express for the final time in their lives. The ride home was by far the most emotional they had experienced in their seven years of attending school, and that was including the one where Lily denied James after yet another romantic gesture, declaring his love for her, and he cried and used enough tissues for the four of them. This time, though, they sat in complete silence, listening to the chatter from the other carriages and the steady whirr of the train speeding along. Finally, Prongs broke the fragile ice.

“So this is it.” He sighed. All of them were distraught in the last few weeks leading up to their goodbyes, but James was a catastrophic mess.

“Yeah.” Peter replied just as coolly, afraid to say more than one word in case he broke down in tears. After all, these were his best friends of seven years, and who was to say they would ever be able to meet up again?

Apparently, Remus and Sirius were the only ones who wanted a full-on conversation (mostly with one another). It took off in reminiscence, laughter and crying about times passed. James and Peter moved to the other seats to continue their wallowing, leaving Sirius and Remus alone. Instinctually, Sirius reached out an arm to take Remus’ fingers in his own, somehow ending up intertwined. Neither of them complained.

“I’m gonna miss you, Moony.” Sirius let his head fall down, finding a spot of dirt on the table that looked suddenly interesting.

“You too, Pads.” Remus clenched his hand tightly, making him look back up, “But it’s not goodbye, right? ‘You will not leave me, I will not leave you’, right?” He looked… hopeful? Searching? Anxious?

Sirius cracked a smile, finding the thought that Remus still wanted to hang out even when he didn’t necessarily have to comforting, “Of course.”

“Isn’t that what you said to me when you pushed me over in fourth year?” Remus forced himself to keep a straight face.

“Yep.”

“You’re a prick.”

“I know.” Sirius beamed cheekily.

“Twat.” Remus mumbled, purposely loud enough for Sirius to hear him.

“Arse.” Sirius whispered across the table, earning a strange look from Peter and a thumbs up from James. Remus just chuckled.

 

Twenty minutes later, the Marauders stood on platform 9¾ just staring at each other: Peter staring at James, James staring at Sirius, Sirius staring at Remus and Remus staring at Sirius. When the moment finished, James was pulled reluctantly away by a man with rugged, black hair and into a bear hug, a kisses being laid haphazardly on his face by the woman beside him. As he turned to his three best friends to say goodbye, a tear slipped from his eye. Then, he strolled off with his parents, burying his face in his mother’s shirt as he wept as though mourning the loss of a friend passed. Peter, having watched him go, did not notice the tugging on his shirt from his little sister until his mother drove him out of the crowd before he had time to say anything. Now just the two of them again, Sirius’ eyes found Remus’.

“I’m really going to miss you, Moons.” Sirius fought back the overwhelming urge to let the tears stream down his face and tuck his face into the comforting, familiar junction of Remus’ neck.

“Do _not_ cry now, Pads. Because if you cry, I’ll cry, and then we’ll just look a bit weird, won’t we?” Remus’ words had Sirius smiling again, sniffling back any fluids that were planning to come out of anywhere anytime soon.

“I’m kinda sucky at goodbyes. Or see you laters, even.” Sirius corrected, “Do we just…?” He outstretched his arms in a strange fashion unsurely.  

Replying physically rather than verbally, Remus wrapped his own arms around Sirius perilously tightly, giving him a horrible notification he was going to run out of oxygen if they didn’t stop quickly. Hitting Remus on the back urgently, he was dropped.

“Sorry, I just-“ Remus scratched the back of his head awkwardly, “Bit excited. Wolf strength.”

Sirius laughed, but didn’t reply. The two stood looking at each other for a little too long before Lily came over and – quite bluntly – said, “Have you two made out yet?”

Expecting Remus to look repulsed at the accusation, he instead looked like he was seriously considering it. Deciding it best to not disturb his train of thought, Sirius stood back and watched his emotion change. Eventually, his features locked into a determined expression and took a step closer to Sirius, bringing his hands to rest on his cheeks. Shooting him a quizzical look, he only continued when Sirius nodded eagerly.

The kiss was hesitant and Sirius swore that if you didn’t know beforehand, you would have possible never noticed it took place. When he took time to indulge, Sirius noticed the fragrance that Remus both radiated and tasted of: peppermint and chocolate, maybe a hint of bubble gum. An easy rhythm fell between the two and by the time they pulled back, both men were completely out of breath. Still, Remus’ smile was unmissable.

“Now that you’ve done that, I _definitely_ don’t want to go.” Sirius huffed, only half joking.

“Uh- Sirius?” Remus said, voice slick with trepidation, “You really don’t like your family, right?”

“That’s an understatement.”

“So, what do you think of my family?” Remus asked, heavily insinuating something Sirius didn’t seem to be picking up on in the slightest.

“They seem nice. A thousands time better than mine – though that doesn’t say much – why do you ask?” Sirius cocked his head to the side like a child.

“Would- would you like to stay with my family? They’ve been asking for you to visit, anyway.” Remus’ smile was crooked, full of hope he prayed wasn’t misdirected.

Sirius thought of breaking his parents’ rules, and spending at least the whole summer with Remus. He thought of them inviting James and Peter over and having it just like old times – but with much more mischief to be managed. He smirked and took Remus’ hands in his own.

“Of course.”

Remus Lupin was a lot of things: brilliant, intuitive, mothering, understanding, wonderful and even a goddamn werewolf. But the thing he was the most was head-over-heels in love - besotted, only had eyes for, hopelessly devoted to; you name it – with Sirius Black.


End file.
